OuR LoVe StOrY

Doing make up the last four days has completely exhausted me especially since I have been in non stop since last Monday and will be in school till Thursday....I am like the walking dead...on Pepsi hahaha! Today was so fun I did some amazing make overs if I do say so myself ;) I can't wait till all my pictures come back so that I can look at them and use them to get jobs in the Media Make up industry!!! K well I am like almost asleep right now so I am going to cut this short. Peace Out Homies

So what do ya'll think?? I absolutely love them!!! What makes me love them more is that I had no help with putting them on it was ALL me!!! I am so proud of myself. I can't to start using forms then they will be even better!! If you guys want to be a hand model and get nails for cheap hit me up!! I also love being able to do my nails for free while I am in school!! Well I have make up class in the morning so I need to keep this one short!! Peace Out Homies

Ok so this morning one of my friends told me what a certain someone said....and apparently she was going to jump me in the parking lot and beat me up so I decided that I would put an end too it and I told my tech teacher and this certain person was pulled into the owners office twice and kept giving me dirty looks. What a lovely day huh well I really need to do my homework so I will write more later. Peace Out Homies

Well while I am in school I am supposed to blog about what I am doing there and how much I love it. I posted a couple pictures but I need to learn more and have more practice before I can do anything thing else on it lol. I love adding my new friends to face book and hanging out with them at school!! I posted about the whole football thing because when it starts I get forgotten I just needed to vent about it to some one that wasn't my husband or his family. They really do become obsessed and everything else in life becomes forgotten so that makes it tough. I will support him in what ever he wants to do. But when it comes to stuff that I want to do or want to go that is a completely different story. Trust me I give more than you guys think which is hard when I don't get any support or attention in return. I love my husband very much but he is still in training lol. I would just like to be remembered when football season starts and even though I don't like it I still...

Well today is BYU's first home game and of course my husband is there watching it and I am home by myself doing absolutely nothing because I guess I am just not cool enough or something like that. I wish that my award letter was here so that I could finally bring my kit home and be able to practice but no my stupid funding hasn't come through yet. I am stuck doing laundry and homework and it sucks. I don't like that when football season starts it is like I don't exist. All that matters is the game and only the game. His family is obsessed with everything BYU and it drives me crazy!!! Honestly they need to chill out and forget about sports. When I say they are obsessed I mean like MAJOR. There world revolves around it!! Any ways I need too learn to let thinks roll off my shoulders and move on, but it is just so hard whit all that is going on. Ugh drama drama drama I hate it!!! K well I need to check the dryer and also I need to eat something so I guess I will ...

As the title states I did put these acrylic tips on my hands all by myself!! How cool is that?? And my instructor loves them and thinks I did a beautiful job. I feel really good about myself :). I am absolutely loving school EXCEPT for a couple people who I love ignoring lol. I have made some AMAZING friends who make school so much more fun!! I cant wait till I can start forming my own tips!!...(yes these tips are the ones you glue on :p) My nail instructor is very impressed with me and how well I put the acrylic on the nails. I am so happy that I decided to start school!! Things are going great...except for these stupid early mornings haha!! Well my head is killing me and I have some home work so I am going to go but if you would like to be a hand model for me just hit me up and I will put you on the book!! Peace Out Homies

Yay I am so excited my teacher said that the acrylics that I layed down were perfect!!! It means so much to me that she thinks that I am doing a good job. I can't wait till I can start using colored acrylics and start bringing my kit home so I can practice on my husband lol...only he refuses to let me. Well I am going to get off cause I want to watch the Secret Life. But keep me posted if you want to be a model for something. Peace Out Homies

Wow one week down and it kicked my butt!! But I am loving it. I have made a lot of new friends who are amazing!!! We have lots of fun. On Monday I start doing acrylics so time is going by really fast!! Pretty soon I might even finally have my own car. I am super exhausted though these early mornings are horrible but I have to get used to it if I want to be able to do what I love. Well I am going to get off cause I am way tired and need to talk about car loans... Peace Out Homies

Yes you read right I said gentlemen I need models!! I need a model every week for school so hit me up if you want to help I do a good job and I am very careful!! So text me or facebook me or email me for more information!!! Peace Out Homies

Well my first day of school is over. Shelly (the teacher) let us go early today because we weren't really doing much, all we were doing was home work. And I did make a couple friends (thank goodness lol). I love being in school but I am still way nervous to start working on someone's real nails. I hate messing up and I am afraid that I will and then they will be really mad at me. I am excited though that I will be able to be paid tips when I am working on the floor which will be really nice. The school is close to food and gas stations so that is good. I don't have to go far when I am hungry. We got our practice hands today with our kits and I named mine lol. Her name is Miss Lady Fingers hahahaha how awesome is that!!! Well I am hungry so I am going to get off here... Peace Out Homies

Ok school starts in the morning and it doesn't seem real I can't believe that I am actually going to school and growing up who thought that this day would come. I will write more about my day tomorrow when I come home and I might add a picture lol Peace Out Homies

Well it has been a long time since I have written on here so I guess I better write something now while my nephews are still sleeping. My brother comes home from his mission this week...well tomorrow actually how crazy is that?? It has already been two years. That means that this October my husband and I will have been together for 2 years as well. I start school on Monday and I am scared out of my mind!!! There are only going to be 10 TOTAL students. It will be really nice to have such a small class size but really easy to notice when some one (mostly me) messes something up lol. I have been spending the week at my parents and it just seems to be dragging. Usually the time goes by too fast and then I have to leave and go back home. My sister is on the tennis team so my parents and her are up and gone by 7:30 in the morning every morning which makes me kind of sad because then I get less time with them. Every thing is changing so fast around me. My nephews are getting so big...

Well it has been two years since my brother left to serve his mission and on Wednesday the 19 he will be flying in at 3. It is crazy to think how fast time has flown by. Soon after that I will be starting beauty school and hopefully getting a car. Growing up is weird. And I still don't know what to do about my puppy I am worried about her. That is way too much time for her to be alone during the day. I refuse to leave her in her kennel for that long that is abuse and I will not do that to her. So I really need to find someone to help me take care of her during the day but I don't know who to ask cause the kids will be in school. Drama is in the air as well which makes it even worse right now. When are things going to finally chill out and start turning around for the better?? I can't wait to start school and then things will hopefully make me feel better about myself and where things are right now. I think that I might start doing the 30 days of pictures or somet...

Wow I can't believe some people honestly why can't people be more selfless and help more. I mean give me a break!! Anyways Bear Lake was fun except for the family reunion it was more like a youth conference gone too far I mean gag me. I did get sun burned and got a lot of good pictures I am going to have to post a few. It was nice to get away from the life for a couple days and visit with my family the last part of the week. Ugh facebook is being retarted it won't add my pictures so I guess I will put some of them on here. School starts really soon and I can't wait although I am really nervous!! I will probably need models and stuff so if you are interested hit me up!! Peace Out Homies

I start school August 23 and I am so very excited...but super nervous!!! I mean honestly I haven't been in school for a little while now or worked in over a year so ya this will be all brand new to me. I can't wait to start, but then again I can lol. We were able to get grants and also student loans so most of school we won't have to pay back which is way nice. We are also getting extra for living expenses which will be way nice too. Just thought that I would let you guys know lol. :) Peace Out Homies

Brandon Curtis took his final breath last night. His father in Heaven decided it was his time to return home. Thank you for those of you who prayed for him and his family. Please continue to pray for his family they surely need it at this time of sorrow. They are keeping him on machines so that he will be able to donate organs to people who really need it. He will be missed.

My husbands cousin was in a very serious accident this morning. He is the one that is in very critical condition from the roll over in the Springville High School parking lot this morning. He is possibly brain dead and we aren't sure if he is going to pull through. They are going to keep him on life support throughout the night and perform more tests in the morning. His name is Brandon Curtis, please keep him and his family in your prayers and your hearts. They are going to need all the comfort that they can possibly get. They need help in getting through this trial in their lives...

Ok so I talked to the owner of Image Works today and I think that I might just enroll there as soon as I can get funding!!! Plush they will put me through a nail course, make up course, and a full cosmotology course. And they have a personal trainer that I get to go to for free and a counselor and fashion consultant and everything I could wish for!!!! I can't wait to go and talk to her on Wednesday!!! I think that my life might be turning around finally :). Yay Me!!!!! Peace Out Homies

Ugh this heat is making me sick I can't stand it anymore I need to move like now!!!!!!!! Freaking I wish it was pouring rain and freezing outside like NOW!!!!! I think this heat is going to kill me. I gave my puppy a hair cut cause she has got to be dying from the heat as well. My stomach is upset from all this stupid heat its horrible. I swear it is like 80 degrees in here!!! I hate it here and I don't want to have to be stuck with his family for a week at bear lake some one please hide me in a place with air conditioning!!! Peace Out Homies

Wow ok so my husband and I throw out our trash last night and this morning it is all over our front lawn and this isn't the first time that it has happened. We have three little neighbor girls that like to jump in the dumpster and pull out my trash and play with it for some weird reason. They put a pickle jar in their fridge that I threw out and a broken bird feeder and boxes and just junk!! Honestly their parents really should be teaching them better and actually keeping an eye on them while they are playing. Did I mention all of the kids are under the age of 8??? It is getting to the point that I can't even throw out my own trash anymore because it will just end up on the front lawn. I really need to move like today!! But some one has to hire me first...so PLEASE SOMEONE HIRE ME!!!!!!!!!!!! I need to get away from this I want to be able to throw something away and let it stay there geeze!!! If you have any suggestions pleas feel free to tell me... Peace Out Homies

Ok well the nurse called me this morning and told me that the Doctor looked over the results and he said they were normal so my ovaries are causing the problem. And the only options that I have (cause they can't test them to find any specific problem) all I can do is wait till I turn 21 to see if they mature by then and I go back to normal or take a pill that will cause over stimulation. But the pill will double everything and I mean everything!! So My husband and I think that what is best is waiting till I turn 21 so that when I do get pregnant it will be safer...at least a little. So let the waiting begin. I will keep you all updated. Peace Out Homies

Oh my goodness I can't stand this I should really be asleep right now but instead I am wide awake with now chance of sleep in sight :(. This is why I drug myself I mean honestly I think that I need to be put on a sleeping pill or something this is driving me crazy. My husband falls asleep like super fast but me I stay up forever because my mind and body hate me and like to make me suffer!! On the plus side I am supposed to hear back from the doctor in a few hours. They better call me at least cause I am tired of waiting for the stupid results...I NEED TO KNOW!!!!!!! Of course this heat could be adding to the fact that I am still up. I swear it is like 80 degrees in my apartment no lie!!! No air conditioning is really killer in Provo. All we have is two fans blowing the stupid hot air around our place making it stuffy and gross!! No wonder I am always waking up sick in the morning!!! No I am not pregnant. Heat just really makes me sick :(. We upgraded our Comcast package so now I ha...

Blah it is way too hot in my apartment!!! I can't stand it!!! So now I won't hear back from the Doctor till Wednesday :( at least I know why they are taking so long so I am not as upset. Meanwhile my new nephew is so cute!!! I just wished that I lived closer so that I could see him and his brothers more :( I miss them so very much!! So the time I do get to be with them is very important to me. Ugh ok so my stomach is making me want to puke so I should probably eat something...maybe... I for sure am going to get a Pepsi :). Peace Out Homies

It has been a tough year and how ever many months it is now. I am stressing waiting for the results from my blood work so I know what kind of medication I have to be on and my husband might have the flu so if he does then I will have to cancel my nail appointment and won't be able to see my sister and her new baby for a while. I hate living so far away. It isn't fair. I miss my family so much it hurts. I ache inside every time I have to leave and go back home. I cry all the time especially when I talk to my nephews and they say how much they miss me and want me to stay at their house. They get so mad when I tell them that I have to leave. What does the Lord want me to do? What does he want from me? I don't know if I can take much more of these trials they are tearing me apart. I just don't know what to do anymore...

Well I think that Bruce and I are finally on our way to getting some answers. Dr. Ludlow is awesome I really like him!! He said that after stopping birth control the longest my body should have been like this is four months and I am around six months or so which isn't good. He sent me over to the Hospital for some blood work and now I have to wait for a phone call. If it is any of the things that is wrong with me then to fix it is a perscription for a pill of some sort...(which I am really bad at swollowing)...but he said that I could just crush them up or something and that would be just fine. I am babysitting this morning and man am I tired haha. She is a way cute girl just not having the best morning. All she wants to do is sleep right now which is ok because she has been sick the last little bit so she needs all the sleep that she can get. So I guess I better get a few things done while she is sleeping again. Peace Out Homies

My sister finally had her baby this morning but I don't get to see him till this weekend :(!! He is going to be so cute my sister always has cute babies!!! This is her third boy in a row haha she will sure have her hands full now. I love my nephews so much I don't know what I would do without them!! Now I just need one of my own...some day. I go and see the Doctor today so wish me luck!! I really hope that he can give me answers instead of making me cry!! Ahhh crazy day already Peace Out Homies!!

So this past week has been stressing me out a ton!! I started having darker discharge last Monday and it dept going and is still going. I haven't bled like at all. So I was hoping that I would start my period and maybe there would be some light at the end of the tunnel but nope... I feel sick too blah!!! I have had no cramping which is weird. Cause I usually have cramps that keep me in bed all day long. I have had some pressure here and there but nothing much. It has been so hard for my husband and I. Not being able to get pregnant or even know what is going on with my body. Don't get me wrong I am so happy for my friends that are pregnant and having babies I love them and only wish the best for them...I just wish that I was one of them. I envy them that it has come so easy for them. I really hope that this new doctor that I am going to see will help me find some options and maybe tell me how to start my period so my body might be able to get back to normal...if it ...

K so I wake up this morning to stupid construction people jack hammering the pavement in our parking lot!! I wasn't very happy about it one bit!! My head hurts and they are blocking the way in and out so I am stuck here I hope they finish today because I have a hair appointment at 9 tomorrow morning and I better have a way out of here!!! Doing laundry wondering what to eat and needing a pepsi really bad right now!!! Only one of them speaks English so how am I supposed to communicate with them to find out if my car is in the way or when they are going to be done giving me a freaking headache!! I am not having the best day cause I didn't get much sleep and had an early wake up call!! Drama, drama everywhere and none of it is mine!!! I am so tired of people getting mad at me and yelling at me for no reason they just think it's fun, I guess. For real people own up that it is your fault and LEAVE ME OUT OF IT!!!!! That is all I wanted to say :). Ok I am starving so Pea...

Ok so I called a new doctor and made a consultation appointment too see if he can give me some answers as to why my body is so messed up. I am so nervous!!! The appointment isn't until July so I have way too much time to think about this!!! Ugh I need help to get my mind off of this!! If any one has any ideas please let me know!!! K thanks Peace Out Homies

Made dinner for my husband and our friends. I love my home made mac and cheese it is the best!!!!! Now I am relaxing in my rocking chair with Vixie laying in her bed next to me. It has been such a nice day. Raining off and on not getting super hot!!!! Ugh the heat makes me sick I can't stand it!!! I love the thunder and the rain, it is my favorite weather!!!!!! I am trying to stay more positive about my situation and I hope it works!! I was yelling in my facebook status at a certain someone who needs a reality check and needs to leave me out of their fights!! And needs to quit blaming me for their actions honestly I am not ever going to cheat on my husband I love him too much to ruin what I have with him!! All I was doing was consoling a friend and they took it way too far!!! WE ARE ONLY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get over yourself and grow up!!!!!!! Peace Out Homies

Oh my goodness I am so tired!! It has been such a long weekend with very little sleep. I need like a week off I swear!! But I am super excited that I get to have my hair done Thursday morning!!! I am going dark with highlights and I can't wait!!! I like changing up my looks every once in a while. Hahaha my husband fell asleep on the love seat. He is just at tired as me but he falls asleep a ton better than I do. He is so cute I just love him!!! I am getting tired of all the break downs that I have been having lately!!! I am ready for my body to go back to normal so that my emotions won't take over anymore!!! I need to go to a doctor for a consultation and see if I can get options on what to do about not having a period and stuff for four months. I know that I need to go but I am really scared!! What if something is really wrong with me?? I don't know if I can handle too much stuff right now. And now I am stressing.......great just what I needed. All it does i...

So today was the Degraw Family Reunion. And was it ever cold!! It was pouring rain in Payson today, all day. Usually they last for a long time, it ended very quickly today. It was really good to catch up with that side of my family though!! They are so awesome!! By the time I had everything packed in our car and my sisters car my pants were soaked clear up to my knees and my jacket was soaked clear through!! Before you say why didn't you have an umbrella...I did but running back and forth carrying my nephews and my food and my dog makes it so you get really wet!!! Everyone loved the salad and brownies that I made.....that is because I made them and I am AWESOME ;) jk. As soon as my husband and I got home I changed into my pajama's and hung my pants up to dry....they are still wet. the rest of the night has just been really quiet and nice. I love being able to just sit on my couch with my husband and not be bothered by people or anything!! I just have to say even tho...

So that video is like hard core! I am thinking that if I do that video one day then the other video I have the other I might not be as sore as much and I will still be able to work out every day still and keep up on losing the weight. My husband had a hard time sleeping last night so me being the wonderful wife that I am went in and made our bed at three in the stupid morning just so he would be able to sleep. I am such a nice wife lol. Ugh I am so lazy I don't want to start working out today, but I guess I getter huh. Alright people Peace out!

I am having THE hardest time trying to sleep!!! It if freaking three in the morning and I am wide awake honestly if it would make a lot of noise I would wash the dishes and mop the floor and wash the laundry, that is how awake I am. I haven't been this alert since I was really mad at my husband and I stayed up all night long cleaning. And he is sound asleep next to me, no surprise there. How can he fall asleep and stay asleep so easily and I can't sleep at all??? It is way not fair!! And seeing as how I have no life and have no reason to get up in the morning I guess that why I stay up all night long!! I so need a job or hobby or actually go to school instead of just talk about it all the time. My body is so out of control lately that my emotions are eating me up inside!! This no period is driving me up the wall!!!! I mean if I was still on the pill it would make sense but seeing as how I have been off since November you would think that I would be back to normal........

So I started a new workout dvd yesterday afternoon and I am so sore!! My legs are killing me I could barely get through the first part of the video. I am gonna try again today and see if I can get farther than like 20 minutes haha. I thought I was gonna puke it was insane!! Bruce is trying to make it up to me but we will see if he really does or not. I am trying to forget all about not having my period but it isn't really working too much. I just want to be able to be happy about myself again and have higher self-esteem. Cause so far I can't stand myself but I am really hoping that this dvd will help me lose all the weight that I have gained and bring me back to the happy fun girl that I was in high school. Well I guess I should get off my but and start working out. Peace out

So last night I was talking with my husband and the topic was the weight that I have gained and how we both feel about it. Well honestly I think that it bothers that I have gained so much weight but he says that he didn't notice anything (oh he also says that I wear too much make up) I don't see how I wear too much make up I do see my huge stomach though every freaking day of the week. He said why do I even try when you won't believe me, that is when I started to cry. You would think that he would have a clue by now but no. Since getting married he stopped complementing me and stuff. So now I have to beg for that kind of attention and I absolutely hate it!! If he payed more attention to me maybe I would like myself more and not be in this depression!! Not to mention the stupid period that hasn't come in four months is helping me gain more weight. Ugh all of this gives me a headache!!! I am not as mad as I was last night but ya I am still pretty upset that he doe...

Ok wow it has been a while since I have been on here. Ha I guess it's cause I don't think people pay attention to it...ha oh well it sure is a good place to complain. So now I am going on four months without having a period and still negative pregnancy tests. And no I am not stressing over it so that is not a reason that I am late. Ugh it is just driving me crazy that basically nothing is happening. All I do is.....nothing. I mean I love taking care of my husband and stuff but shoot I want money to spend lol I miss all my shopping!! Just finished washing all my laundry and washed all my dishes cause our apartment is stupid and has no dishwasher haha. Still looking for a job down here in lovely provo and still not finding one that wants me lol. I miss all my friends up in davis county :(. I don't like being so far away...especially from my nephews who I love so very much!!! Every time I leave they get really sad and beg me not to go....and I wish I didn't have...

Ok so I went to my doctors on Saturday and he told me that I am over weight which is the main problem so I am not pregnant just fat. He said that I needed to go on a diet to lose the weight. I was so upset!!! I still am actually. I mean I knew that I gained weight and everything but he flat out told me that I am over weight and that is why I haven't had my period yet. But that really doesn't make any sense to me at all. I don't understand it at all. Freak I am so frustrated with everything!!! Grr!!!!!!!

So my birthday came and went by and it wasn't very fun. I did get to see my parents but not for very long. I took a pregnancy test after I woke up on my birthday and it was still negative :(. It is so frustrating I just don't understand. So I had a weird dream. I took a pregnancy test and it came back negative (no surprise) but then like fast forward a week or something and I took another one and it came back positive!! I don't know what to think. After it finally came back positive I was 8 weeks pregnant. Does this mean something or am I just crazy?????

Ok so my birthday is tomorrow and I am not super excited. I don't get to see my family or have a big party or anything. But I do get to get my hair colored and my nails filled which I am really excited about!! Wow I am gonna be 20 and then on the 30 of this month I will have been married for a year how crazy is that???!!! It sure has been an up and down thing. We have had a lot of struggles but have been able to work through them which is a good thing hahaha. We are still looking for another puppy dog to go with the one that we already have. And still trying for a baby....I think that I am 7 weeks but all the tests keep coming back negative which is annoying. I have not been super stressed or anything so I don't know what else it could be except for me being pregnant. Man life is way too confusing lol.

Why can't he get off his butt and take care of me?? What is so hard about that??? I always take of him but no taking care of me is out of the question!!! He comes home from work and I have a headache and stomachache so he comes in the room and turns on the light and then walks out leaving the light on making my head worse!!! And then makes himself some dinner didn't even ask me or nothing. So I finally get up and go by myself for food and a pepsi. Why can't guys man up and take care of us????

My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant since November of 09 and so far is hasn't worked for us. I could be pregnant now but every pregnancy test that I take keeps coming up negative!!! And my period hasn't come!!! How does that work??? I am not stressed or anything so what is going on with me???? I will be excited if I am pregnant I am tired of all the let downs each month when I find out that I am not pregnant. I wish i knew if I was or not. If I am not then I want to start beauty school. Ugh I hate not knowing what is going on!!!! If anyone has an idea of what is wrong with me please tell me cause I am clueless!!!!

I lay awake at night with all my fears not knowing what to do. It's so annoying!!! Why can't I be the one to be able to fall asleep fast and sleep through the night with no trouble? Ever since moving to Provo I have had trouble. I think it's cause I am not home with the people i feel safest with if that makes sense? I mean like I feel safe with my husband but it is a different type of safe. I just don't know what to do. I used to have horrible nightmares they have gone now but sometimes they do come back :(. Ugh I feel sick I have felt sick since yesterday night and it sucks!!!! I guess that is it for now. Lata Gata

Well this is new ha. I decided that I would start one of these cause they look fun. My husband and I have been married for a year on April 30. I love him with all my heart!! We live in Provo Utah with our puppy Vixie. Vixie is a Pomeranian Yorkie Poodle, long name but really small puppy. My husband works at Ancestry.com and loves it! Wow I don't really know what to say my mind is drawing a blank.............. My husband were married in the Logan Utah Temple April 30,2009. I'll be turning 20 April 6 and I can't wait!! Well I guess I will stop writing for now. Lata Gata!!!