OuR LoVe StOrY

Ok so there is like the smallest hole in my heart but it is not what is causing my headaches so I am at yet another dead end :(...i have one more appointment and it is with a neurologist...i doubt he can tell me anything. Ugh I feel like people are looking at me like I'm crazy but I'm not I am sick why can't they find an answer?? I've been patient so now its my turn to be pushy or maybe I'll just never get out of bed again...i would be ok with the second one...i guess I will post more later... ...Peace Out Homies...

Well tomorrow I go in for yet another this one is called an echo bubble study...this will test my heart too see if I have a hole in my heart like my sister had. I'm getting really scared for it. If they find one I will have too go on a leave and in for heart surgery and probably stay with my parents so they can help me recover. So I wouldn't see a lot of my husband for a while. I just want these headaches too stop I'm tired of taking so many pills :(...i will post more tomorrow when I get my results... ...Peace Out Homies...

Well the results came back normal which makes no sense what so ever!!! I don't understand how I can be so sick but be so healthy!!! Can some one tell me how on earth this can be??!! When my nurse called me and told me I cried :(. It isn't that I am not grateful that I don't have a brain tumor or anything I am just more confused because appearently I am normal!!! Stupid technical stuff!!! I am really struggling here and I don't know what to do!!! I just feel so alone and so helpless like I don't have a friend in the world ya know?...well of couse you don't know you are just a blog post...I mean I do have certain people that I can talk to but I just still feel so very alone... :(. I really don't know what is wrong with me...I feel so very broken inside and out and I don't know how to go about fixing myself. I feel like I am competing in something that I am never going to win at...friendship, family,school,marriage,just life in general...no I am not suicida...