OuR LoVe StOrY

So this past week has been stressing me out a ton!! I started having darker discharge last Monday and it dept going and is still going. I haven't bled like at all. So I was hoping that I would start my period and maybe there would be some light at the end of the tunnel but nope... I feel sick too blah!!! I have had no cramping which is weird. Cause I usually have cramps that keep me in bed all day long. I have had some pressure here and there but nothing much. It has been so hard for my husband and I. Not being able to get pregnant or even know what is going on with my body. Don't get me wrong I am so happy for my friends that are pregnant and having babies I love them and only wish the best for them...I just wish that I was one of them. I envy them that it has come so easy for them. I really hope that this new doctor that I am going to see will help me find some options and maybe tell me how to start my period so my body might be able to get back to normal...if it ...

K so I wake up this morning to stupid construction people jack hammering the pavement in our parking lot!! I wasn't very happy about it one bit!! My head hurts and they are blocking the way in and out so I am stuck here I hope they finish today because I have a hair appointment at 9 tomorrow morning and I better have a way out of here!!! Doing laundry wondering what to eat and needing a pepsi really bad right now!!! Only one of them speaks English so how am I supposed to communicate with them to find out if my car is in the way or when they are going to be done giving me a freaking headache!! I am not having the best day cause I didn't get much sleep and had an early wake up call!! Drama, drama everywhere and none of it is mine!!! I am so tired of people getting mad at me and yelling at me for no reason they just think it's fun, I guess. For real people own up that it is your fault and LEAVE ME OUT OF IT!!!!! That is all I wanted to say :). Ok I am starving so Pea...

Ok so I called a new doctor and made a consultation appointment too see if he can give me some answers as to why my body is so messed up. I am so nervous!!! The appointment isn't until July so I have way too much time to think about this!!! Ugh I need help to get my mind off of this!! If any one has any ideas please let me know!!! K thanks Peace Out Homies

Made dinner for my husband and our friends. I love my home made mac and cheese it is the best!!!!! Now I am relaxing in my rocking chair with Vixie laying in her bed next to me. It has been such a nice day. Raining off and on not getting super hot!!!! Ugh the heat makes me sick I can't stand it!!! I love the thunder and the rain, it is my favorite weather!!!!!! I am trying to stay more positive about my situation and I hope it works!! I was yelling in my facebook status at a certain someone who needs a reality check and needs to leave me out of their fights!! And needs to quit blaming me for their actions honestly I am not ever going to cheat on my husband I love him too much to ruin what I have with him!! All I was doing was consoling a friend and they took it way too far!!! WE ARE ONLY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get over yourself and grow up!!!!!!! Peace Out Homies

Oh my goodness I am so tired!! It has been such a long weekend with very little sleep. I need like a week off I swear!! But I am super excited that I get to have my hair done Thursday morning!!! I am going dark with highlights and I can't wait!!! I like changing up my looks every once in a while. Hahaha my husband fell asleep on the love seat. He is just at tired as me but he falls asleep a ton better than I do. He is so cute I just love him!!! I am getting tired of all the break downs that I have been having lately!!! I am ready for my body to go back to normal so that my emotions won't take over anymore!!! I need to go to a doctor for a consultation and see if I can get options on what to do about not having a period and stuff for four months. I know that I need to go but I am really scared!! What if something is really wrong with me?? I don't know if I can handle too much stuff right now. And now I am stressing.......great just what I needed. All it does i...

So today was the Degraw Family Reunion. And was it ever cold!! It was pouring rain in Payson today, all day. Usually they last for a long time, it ended very quickly today. It was really good to catch up with that side of my family though!! They are so awesome!! By the time I had everything packed in our car and my sisters car my pants were soaked clear up to my knees and my jacket was soaked clear through!! Before you say why didn't you have an umbrella...I did but running back and forth carrying my nephews and my food and my dog makes it so you get really wet!!! Everyone loved the salad and brownies that I made.....that is because I made them and I am AWESOME ;) jk. As soon as my husband and I got home I changed into my pajama's and hung my pants up to dry....they are still wet. the rest of the night has just been really quiet and nice. I love being able to just sit on my couch with my husband and not be bothered by people or anything!! I just have to say even tho...

So that video is like hard core! I am thinking that if I do that video one day then the other video I have the other I might not be as sore as much and I will still be able to work out every day still and keep up on losing the weight. My husband had a hard time sleeping last night so me being the wonderful wife that I am went in and made our bed at three in the stupid morning just so he would be able to sleep. I am such a nice wife lol. Ugh I am so lazy I don't want to start working out today, but I guess I getter huh. Alright people Peace out!

I am having THE hardest time trying to sleep!!! It if freaking three in the morning and I am wide awake honestly if it would make a lot of noise I would wash the dishes and mop the floor and wash the laundry, that is how awake I am. I haven't been this alert since I was really mad at my husband and I stayed up all night long cleaning. And he is sound asleep next to me, no surprise there. How can he fall asleep and stay asleep so easily and I can't sleep at all??? It is way not fair!! And seeing as how I have no life and have no reason to get up in the morning I guess that why I stay up all night long!! I so need a job or hobby or actually go to school instead of just talk about it all the time. My body is so out of control lately that my emotions are eating me up inside!! This no period is driving me up the wall!!!! I mean if I was still on the pill it would make sense but seeing as how I have been off since November you would think that I would be back to normal........

So I started a new workout dvd yesterday afternoon and I am so sore!! My legs are killing me I could barely get through the first part of the video. I am gonna try again today and see if I can get farther than like 20 minutes haha. I thought I was gonna puke it was insane!! Bruce is trying to make it up to me but we will see if he really does or not. I am trying to forget all about not having my period but it isn't really working too much. I just want to be able to be happy about myself again and have higher self-esteem. Cause so far I can't stand myself but I am really hoping that this dvd will help me lose all the weight that I have gained and bring me back to the happy fun girl that I was in high school. Well I guess I should get off my but and start working out. Peace out

So last night I was talking with my husband and the topic was the weight that I have gained and how we both feel about it. Well honestly I think that it bothers that I have gained so much weight but he says that he didn't notice anything (oh he also says that I wear too much make up) I don't see how I wear too much make up I do see my huge stomach though every freaking day of the week. He said why do I even try when you won't believe me, that is when I started to cry. You would think that he would have a clue by now but no. Since getting married he stopped complementing me and stuff. So now I have to beg for that kind of attention and I absolutely hate it!! If he payed more attention to me maybe I would like myself more and not be in this depression!! Not to mention the stupid period that hasn't come in four months is helping me gain more weight. Ugh all of this gives me a headache!!! I am not as mad as I was last night but ya I am still pretty upset that he doe...

Ok wow it has been a while since I have been on here. Ha I guess it's cause I don't think people pay attention to it...ha oh well it sure is a good place to complain. So now I am going on four months without having a period and still negative pregnancy tests. And no I am not stressing over it so that is not a reason that I am late. Ugh it is just driving me crazy that basically nothing is happening. All I do is.....nothing. I mean I love taking care of my husband and stuff but shoot I want money to spend lol I miss all my shopping!! Just finished washing all my laundry and washed all my dishes cause our apartment is stupid and has no dishwasher haha. Still looking for a job down here in lovely provo and still not finding one that wants me lol. I miss all my friends up in davis county :(. I don't like being so far away...especially from my nephews who I love so very much!!! Every time I leave they get really sad and beg me not to go....and I wish I didn't have...